Father’s Day: ‘A father carries his child in his mind and heart’

DIMAPUR — Not many may comprehend father’s love as they are usually not good at expressing their feelings, compounded by social expectations and their roles in the family, but that doesn’t make them less emotional beings.

A father shows his love through his actions, said Simon, who is a father and a teacher by profession. He was speaking to Eastern Mirror on the eve of Father’s Day, which falls on June 16 this year.

A father is a strong character in the eyes of his family, a role model to not only his children but also to nieces and nephews, he said, adding that men are also socially conditioned to be strict, which is an added responsibility for the good of their children.

What first-time father has to say

For Tiamenba Jamir, who became a father two months ago, fatherhood is different kind of feeling.

‘To be celebrating my first Father’s Day after the birth of my daughter is giving me another reason and day to celebrate; the moment I became an actual father is yet to sink in,’ he said.

He also shared the fear, anxiety and worries he experienced during the pregnancy period, although unnoticed by others.

“We (men) may not carry a child in the womb for nine months but we also go through similar fears, worries, stress, excitement as any expecting mother goes through. Our feelings are not limited just because we are men or we are not expressive but I am sure every men goes through the same mixed feelings of fear and excitement of being a father,” he shared.

However, all worries vanish the moment one becomes a father and the overpowering feeling is incomparable.

“My first-time father feeling was indeed overwhelming. A father carries his child or children in his mind and heart wherever he goes. And as my daughter grows, I am sure the experience will be overwhelming with each passing days and years at the same time filled with fear and pride as well,” Jamir shared.

A grandfather’s perspective 

Septuagenarian Shamyong loves to spend time with and babysit his grandchildren. For him, it’s like making up for the lost days and years of not being able to give enough time to his children because of family obligations.

“I have lost my days and years as a father by being out of home most of the days, while my children were growing up busy with their education. We lived in village and I was busy in my field as a farmer, so was my children who were studying outside the village. We hardly met if not during holidays.

“Although we have respect and love for each other, the only regret I have was not watching them grow while we were busy with our own objectives — mine to provide them a better future with financial stability while they were focused in making their future. We were all right in our own situation,” he shared while expounding the role of a father in a family.

“Since I became a grandfather, I have been reflecting on my influences as a father, and although I do regret at times for not having spent much time with my children because of the situation and circumstances that we were in, I have reflected the importance of a father figure in a family and how a father’s role can contribute towards a family to ensure a close-knit relationship,” he asserted.

During our times, we had no special days or rather we were not aware of celebration of love and acknowledgement, he said, adding that he came to know about special occasions like Father’s Day from his children and grandchildren. He opined that such occasions provide “us good opportunities for family time and to express love, respect, commitment and most importantly family time”.

“I try to be more hands-on with my family, in the lives of my children and specially my grandchildren. With enough time now, as I don’t have to go to the field or be worried about my children’s future since they are all settled now, I spend most of my times with my grandchildren and I am the happiest around them,” he shared.

The septuagenarian also acknowledged that schools are imparting good moral education to students by making them of special days like Father’s Day.

“My grandchildren brought home handmade cards and letters which they learned from school for their father and they also did the same on Mother’s Day, so I am happy to see that schools are also teaching the children young on the importance of family,” he said.   

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